Seriously, Jesus?

Today I didn't want to be like Jesus....



I seriously don't know how he did it, all the time, every day.  How was he so charitable, caring, kind, friendly, selfless, and perfect all the time?  He had to be the Son of God!  It's so hard! It takes a lot of effort and is exhausting!

Sometimes, I don't want to be helpful.  Sometimes, I get tired of helping others and being their pillar to lean on.  Sometimes, I get tired of pretending and putting up with peoples crap.  I didn't want to do it today.  I just wanted to be left alone today.  I've had my fill of people for a while.

Today, I decided to be lazy.  I laid in bed 90% of the day.  I am so tired and screwed up.  Everyone thinks I'm so perfect like they always have my whole life.  I just give off that vibe that I'm good but in reality I'm just a big FAILURE!!!!!

I was talking to be best friend today and came to this epiphany that I'm a failure.  I'm single. FAIL! I am unemployed.  FAIL! I am going to a junior college and I'm 24. FAIL!!! Fail + Fail + Fail = Epic Failure!!! I can't take all the pressure that is on me every day!! It just makes me want to lay in bed all day.  Why can't I have my dog Basco's life.  The measure of his creation is to crap! eat! play! sleep! play! sleep! eat! crap!! He has the life! No job, but he has medical care and love.  All that is expected out of him is simple tricks like shaking hands and barking when people come to the door. Man, I hate you BASCO!!!

I hate how people always ask you so what are you doing with your life? Next time I'm asked this I'm seriously going to say, "I'm failing!"  Why do I need to know what I'm going to do with my life every second of the day? Why can't I say I don't know.  Why don't people ask you how do you feel about your life?  Does your life make you happy? What are you doing in your life that makes you happy?  I like these questions better! Less pressure!

Also, I don't think I want friends anymore.  (I mean everyone except my H*MARK friends.)  Their too much.  Just too much.  I'm contemplating big time deleting my Facebook.  I spend too much time on it and I kind of want to go off the grid for a while.  If I have a facebook people can stock me and I not know it.  It kind of scares me to delete it but I am on the cliff about it.  People will actually have to call me up or text me to let me know about things.  I'll be all retro and unique because everyone has a stinkin' facebook.

Man, side note! My tongue is still burned from the hot chocolate I drank 3 hours ago.  Crap!

Well, I think thats all my rambalings for tonight because I'm fading fast! Peace out!